I work hard to stay current and challenge myself: as a mom, as a teacher, and as a fairly intelligent woman and fairly balanced wife.

Every summer I revamp one of my subject-area programs. Throughout the year I revamp units as they unfold based on where kids struggle, where I can differentiate, and where pedagogy has evolved. I have taken on new projects to boost my morale, help me feel valuable, and celebrate my unique gifts.

Every Friday I come home with a head full of ideas about things I desperately want to tweak, redo, do better etc. But then family kicks in and I worry more about how to be a better mom, wife, and me. And sometimes I find time for me.

So change is all around me. I encourage my children to embrace change. I beg my students to take a risk and be open to change. I support my husband and kids when they take risks and try new things.

But. I am afraid. Fundamentally. Of change.

I was a student in public education for 13 years. Yes, I changed schools a few times, but my focus – do amazingly well – never changed. Then I started University. And I was terrified to leave. So for fourteen years I did amazing things, had professors encouraging me to keep going, and earned four amazing degrees of which I am very proud. And after 14 years of hiding in academia, I left the university teaching world and found my own classroom. And for 13 years I have been in full-time public education. 12 of those years have been in the same school.

13 years. 14 years. 12 years.

I may have found my interval.

Maybe that’s why I’m so unsettled. Maybe that’s why I’m craving change.

Maybe. Just maybe. It’s time.

Mpj